Hello My Happy People,
I am afraid I am decidedly not happy today. This week has been very stressful since we got home from Italy. We returned home on Monday and were pretty wiped out from traveling. We showered, changed and just ordered delivery for dinner and tried to rest up. I was too tired to do my Manic Monday post, but I did end up doing one on Thursday. I will add it below.
Our pet sitter brought our boy, Shaggy, home very early on Tuesday. He was extremely ill. She said she had been trying to reach us for two days, but when we looked, nothing had come through on our phones. I noticed my SIM card was locked and when I unlocked it about 30 messages popped up.
As we do not have a car here, the sitter offered to drive me and Shaggy to our vet. Shaggy has been in the hospital ever since and it looks like he will have to be there another two days at least. I have a feeling it will end up costing more than $3,000 when all is said and done, but we will pay anything to save him.
I am not sure I could have stayed sane here in Germany without him. With no family or friends close by, P.R. having to travel so much for work, and me not speaking German very well, Shaggy is my family, my friend, my constant companion and emotional support. He makes this life possible for us. I have just been out of my mind with worry and unfortunately stress can set off some of my own health issues. So, it has been a rough week!
So if you do not mind, today will just be a random collection of jokes I personally find funny. I hope you like them too!
Now ... ON WITH THE JOKES!
Enjoy,
Dianne
Q: Why does Princess Leia keep her hair up in buns?
A: So it doesn’t Hang Solow.
Q: What do you call a rebel princess who only buys non-GMO foods?
A: Leia Organic.
Q: What do you call a sea creature that loves the new Star Wars trilogy?
A: A More-Rey Eel.
Q: Where does Luke shop for Father’s Day?
A: At the Darth Maul.
Q: How do Tusken Raiders cheat on their taxes?
A: They always use "single" file, to hide their numbers.
Q: Have you tried making Wookiee cookies?
A: They are okay but they’re a little Chewy.
Q: Why couldn’t Obi Wan find love?
A: He looked in Alderaan places.
Q: Did you know R2D2 had the dirtiest lines in all the Star Wars movies?
A: They had to bleep out everything he said.
Q: Why shouldn’t you ask to borrow money from Yoda?
A: Because he’s always a little short.
Q: What did Yoda ride as a kid?
A: A bicycle. Because there is no tri.
Q: Where do the Star Wars characters buy their hotdogs?
A: At the Admiral Snackbar.
Q: What does your Canadian friend's food and the Empire from Star Wars have in common?
A: Pal-poutine.
Q: How does Darth Vader cheat at cards?
A: He keeps altering the deal.
Q: What did Darth Vader say to the Emperor at the auction?
A: “What is thy bidding, my master?”
Q: Why is Darth Vader so bad at sports?
A: Because he tends to choke.
Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting him for his birthday?
A: He felt his presents!
Q: What is the difference between Din Djarin and Doc Brown's time machine?
A: One’s a Mandalorian, and the other’s a manned DeLorean.
And last but not least ...
Q: Why is it so hard to come up with Star Wars jokes?
A: Because sometimes they come off a bit too forced!
"It's easier to be a guy..." - Jim Gaffigan Standup (Cinco)
jimgaffigan
Mrs. Wiggins: The Vending Machine from The Carol Burnett Show (Full Sketch)
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