Since I will be "leveling up" in age tomorrow, I thought now would be the perfect time to share some laughs about getting older. Though if you really want to find something entertaining, you should check out my Into the West Saga Serial book collection. I am writing part 5 now.
In fact, since I need to get back to writing, let's get right to the jokes!
You know you are getting older when . . .
- you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
- your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your hose and discover you aren't wearing any.
- you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
- getting "lucky" means you remember where you parked your car.
- you stay home but your back still goes out.
- your idea of a great night out is sitting on the patio.
- it takes more than one try to get up from the couch.
- happy hour is a nap.
- you're on vacation and your stamina runs out before your money does.
- all you want for your birthday is to not be told how old you really are.
- your idea of weight lifting is pushing yourself up from a chair.
- it takes longer to recover than it did to get tired.
- most of the names in your contacts list start with Dr.
- the employees at the pharmacy know your name.
- you look for your glasses for an hour and they were on your head all along.
- you finally get your head in a good place and your body starts falling apart.
- you wonder how you are over the hill when you don't remember ever being on top.
Q: When is an old person's bedtime?
A: Three hours after they falls asleep on the couch.
Q: How many old people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it might take all day.
Q: What's the biggest gripe of old people? A: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Q: What do old people call a long lunch? A: Normal.
Q: What do old people considered formal attire? A: Tied shoes.
Q: Why do old people count pennies? A: They are the only ones who have the time to do it.
Q: What is the common term for an old person who enjoys working and refuses to retire? A: NUTS! (also interchangeable with Indie Author)
Q: Why don't old people mind being called "Seniors"? A: The name comes with a 10% discount.
Q: Why are old people so slow to clean out their basement, attic, or garage? A: Because they know as soon as they do, their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Q: What's the biggest advantage of going back to college when you are an old person? A: If you skip classes, no one calls your mom.
Check out "Getting Old" jokes (<-- click here) for more great jokes about getting older.
While you are at it, don't forget to check out ShepsPlace.org (<--- click here to check them out). While you are there, consider donating a few bucks to help senior dogs have a loving home in the final days of their life. Shep's Place is a sanctuary for abandoned senior dogs in the Kansas City area. They work to re-home the dogs when possible, but if they can't, they make sure the dogs are loved and have a home at the sanctuary until the end of their days on earth. Dog's give selflessly to humans, they deserve the same in return.