Friday Funnies: A Sneak Peek ...

Updated: Sep 6, 2022

Pexels Photos from Ozan Çulha, Woman in Black V Neck Shirt Holding White Round Mirror

Hello My Happy People,

I hope you have had a fantastic week and are going into your weekend looking forward to time doing things you love with people you love to be around. I will be spending time (if our plans work out) with my better half out of town. I know most of you are probably thinking, don't you spend every day with P.R. as it is? The answer to that is yes, but more time with P.R. is always a great thing.

In case you are wondering about the photo on this blog, this is another hint at the cover art for my new book, The Touch. I took several photos and an overlay and combined them all together with some extra editing to create my cover art. This is a section of one of the original photos I used for the cover. While it does not look like this on the book cover, you will recognize it when you see the art.

This month I will be celebrating my 55th birthday and I have to say I am really looking forward to it. First of all, my birthday always falls on Talk Like a Pirate Day, which I find hilarious. Second, they are starting up the Destination Star Trek (DST) conventions again this month. They haven't had one since CoVid hit the world. They had planned to have a big convention last year to celebrate 25 years of Star Trek Voyager, but it was cancelled. However, they have rescheduled it for this year and I have a ticket for a photo with Kate Mulgrew! I can't wait!

Keep watching my social media for a sneak peek of the new text I have written for The Touch coming sometime in the next few days. I think I will do a video on TikTok first. However, if you do not follow me on there, I will post it later on my other social media sites. But you should follow me on there, it's fun.

But for now, in keeping with my excitement over the upcoming DST Con, I thought some Star Trek jokes might be fun for today.

I hope you have a great weekend people!

Enjoy,

Dianne

Q: Where do Star Trek fans go to workout? A: The “Dammit, Gym”!

Q: How many ears does Capt. Kirk have? A: Three: right ear, left ear, and the final front-ear.

Q: What did Picard say as Data struggled to repair the antique stitching machine? A: “Make it sew.”

Q: What did Uhura say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull? A: “Captain, we are being hailed.”

Q: What did Will Riker say when he was duplicated in a transporter accident? A: “We’re Number One! We’re Number One!”

Q: How did Lore kill Data’s cat? A: He used Spot remover. (The cat's name was Spot)

Q: How fast can the Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 run? A: He can hit Worf speed.

Q: Why couldn’t Kira get permanent quarters on DS9? A: Because everybody knew she was just a Visitor. (Played by actress Nana Visitor)

Q: What did the senior staff of DS9 sing when Kira was packing to leave the station? A: Nana, Nana . . . Nana, Nana . . . hey, hey, hey, goodbye! (See parenthesis above)

Q: What do you do if O’Brien refuses to fix your ship after you dock at DS9? A: You Colm Meaney. (actor's first name is pronounced like "call-em")

Q: What do you get when Gul Dukat kills his half-Bajoran/half-Cardassian daughter? A: A Ba-cardi on ice.

Q: Did you hear that the entire crew of the Enterprise is getting married? A: They have engaged the Borg.

Q: How many Star Trek (original series) landing party members does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but at least one crewman in a red-shirt will die in the process.

Q: How many Enterprise: The Next Generation senior officers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: All of them. One to screw it in while the others debate the moral implications.

And last but not least ...

Q: How many Voyager crew members does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, but a shuttlecraft will be destroyed in the process.

Star Trek Hilarious Bloopers (2009-2016)

Ft. Chris Pine & Benedict Cumberbatch

Some of these are a little racey, but funny.

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