The Deep Dark Hole

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Posted on October 22, 2014

 

There is a room inside my heart
that is hot and dark and barren
It’s where I take my emotions
when they get too strong for me to bare

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In the center of the room
there is a thick metal hatch
It covers the deep dark hole
from which emotion never come back

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I push my feelings into a tiny box
and wrap it all in chains
I drop them down the deep, dark hole
never to be felt again

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I latch the hatch and leave the room
and not once do I turn back
The hollow empty feeling left
always comforts me

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It’s easier to live with nothing
than to live with so much pain
But it’s not just bad feelings
That get tossed into the dark

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Happiness and love get boxed
and are tossed down there as well
For even good things can feel bad
when they have nowhere to go

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So instead of hanging on to them
I toss them down the deep, dark hole
Now please don’t think me sad
I really don’t mind one way or the other

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I’d rather trash my feelings
than trust them to another
For the destination would be the same
whether by my hand or some other

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So when I start to feel again
I’ll go back to that hot, dark, barren room
I’ll lift the hatch and look inside
I only hope that there’s still space

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My greatest fear is this
Where do you go when the hole is full
Where do you go when there’s nowhere left
to hide what’s left of your soul

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Lost and Found

Posted on October 22, 2014

 

I am not

like anyone I

have ever known

 

I planned in life

to give my heart

only once

 

In hopes that he

would give me his

to replace it

 

But he, instead,

gave me mine back,

used and worn

 

I am the same

 and yet not 

the same

​

my heart

is smaller now

 and wiser

 

It shrinks

from the world

as I do

 

Ir resides

in that cold

dark region

 

loneliness

and despair

know how to find

 

Though I am alone

I am not lonely

But I have lost

 

I lost hope for

what I thought

true love was

 

But in this loss

I found

myself instead