
Musings
Posted on October 22, 2014
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Posted on October 22, 2014
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The Deep Dark Hole
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Posted on October 22, 2014
There is a room inside my heart
that is hot and dark and barren
It’s where I take my emotions
when they get too strong for me to bare
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In the center of the room
there is a thick metal hatch
It covers the deep dark hole
from which emotion never come back
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I push my feelings into a tiny box
and wrap it all in chains
I drop them down the deep, dark hole
never to be felt again
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I latch the hatch and leave the room
and not once do I turn back
The hollow empty feeling left
always comforts me
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It’s easier to live with nothing
than to live with so much pain
But it’s not just bad feelings
That get tossed into the dark
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Happiness and love get boxed
and are tossed down there as well
For even good things can feel bad
when they have nowhere to go
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So instead of hanging on to them
I toss them down the deep, dark hole
Now please don’t think me sad
I really don’t mind one way or the other
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I’d rather trash my feelings
than trust them to another
For the destination would be the same
whether by my hand or some other
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So when I start to feel again
I’ll go back to that hot, dark, barren room
I’ll lift the hatch and look inside
I only hope that there’s still space
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My greatest fear is this
Where do you go when the hole is full
Where do you go when there’s nowhere left
to hide what’s left of your soul
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Lost and Found
Posted on October 22, 2014
I am not
like anyone I
have ever known
I planned in life
to give my heart
only once
In hopes that he
would give me his
to replace it
But he, instead,
gave me mine back,
I am the same
Same as I was
but my heart
is smaller now
And wiser
it shrinks
from the world
And resides
in that cold
dark region
Only loneliness
and despair
know to find
I am alone
but not lonely
I have lost
I lost
what I thought
was true love
But I found
myself instead
a true friend
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