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Friday Funnies: Married!


(Dianne and P.R. on their wedding day.)


Hello My Happy People,


We are so busy here with family stuff today that I am wrote this on Tuesday because I have no idea when we will be home. P.R. and I have been doing all those things you are supposed to do as you get older to prepare to keep getting even older. I went first, because I am the one who is most likely to have trouble with these sorts of things, but now that I have finished all my appointments, it's P.R.'s turn.


It's nice to have someone to help you go through all of these kinds of things. For so many years, I was the only one planning for my future and it's nice to have someone to share that all with. However ... marriage is not all roses and chocolates no matter how much you love each other. That is because marriage takes two people and no matter what, if two people spend enough time together eventually they will get on each other's nerves about something.


Most times, it's small things that build up and just finally drive you crazy. The real trick is being able to remind yourself what things actually matter and what does not in the grand scheme of things. It also helps to have a partner who likes to play video games like Call of Duty or Fortnite. This way when you are driving each other nuts, you can just go in the game and kill off each other's characters and let off some steam. It is surprisingly cathartic!


It also helps to have a good sense of humor about it all and to help with that, here are some jokes about marriage.


Have a great weekend people!

Dianne


Q. Do you ever get the last word when arguing with your wife?

A. All the time ... but they are usually, "Yes, dear."


Q. If marriage is when a man and woman become as one why are there so many divorces?

A. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one to become.


Q.What is the difference between being just married and being married 30 years?

A. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. When a 30-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.


Q. How are husbands like old lawn mowers?

A. They're really hard to get started, often emit horrible odors, and your have to direct them everywhere you want them to go.


Q. Wife, "The new neighbor always kisses his wife as he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"

A. Husband, "That seems a bit much, I haven't even met the woman!"


Q. Why do you keep reading our marriage license?

A. I'm looking for an expiration date.


Q. Do you feel like you married Mrs. Right?

A. Yes, but at the time I didn't know her first name was "Always".


Q. Why the Queen of hearts agree to marry the King of hearts?

A. She felt they were perfectly suited for each other.


Q. Did you see where two antennas fell in love and got married?

A. I heard about that. Apparently the ceremony was boring, but the reception was excellent.


Q. Does your husband ever cook for you?

A: He does, In fact he cooks for me like I’m a goddess. He places burnt offerings before me every night.


And last but not least ...


Q. How do you know if the wedding ceremony was very emotionally moving?

A. Even the cake was in tiers.



HILARIOUS Marriage Jokes



My Wife's Brain Tumor" - Jim Gaffigan (Noble Ape)







Book Banter with Dianne Burckhardt

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Support Our Book Banter Buddies (guest interviews):


David Gibson, PhD FRSB, Author of Planting Clues: How Plants Solve Crimes.

(EP 58, March 22nd, 2023)


Linaya DiNoto, Science Fiction Author of Lithaflora: The Chrysalis: The Forever After Series (Episode 59 March 29, 2023)


Kelly Florence, Screenwriter/Podcaster and Co-Author of The Science of Series

(Episode 60 April 5, 2023)


Stephanie LaVigne, Cozy Mystery Author of Headlines, Deadlines, and Lies

(Episode 61 April 12, 2023)


Patricia Harman, Midwife and Author of The Midwife Series (Episode 62 April 19, 2023)


Season 2 Past Guest Interviews:


LM Wilson, author of The Last of the Spirit Drakes (EP: 51, Feb. 1, 2023)

LeRoy A Peters, author of The Edge of the World Series (EP: 52, Feb. 8, 2023)

C. D'Angelo, Author of The Difference and The Visitor (EP: 53, Feb. 15th, 2023)

Val Collins, author of the Aoife Walsh Books (EP: 54, Feb. 22, 2023)

Kirstie Page, Visual Storyteller/Artist (EP: 55, March 1st, 2023)

Lance Steen Anthony Nielsen, Author of Diamonds in the Sky Series

(EPs: 56 & 57, March 8th & 15th, 2023)

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