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Writer's pictureStephen Burckhardt

Friday Funnies: Kids Say the Darndest Things!


Hello Posse!


It is Friday again and that means it's time for jokes! I thought with everyone having to spend more time at home with their families, this might be a great time to share some of the funniest things kids have said. They really do say the darndest things!


So try not to snort your drinks as you go through these little gems!


Enjoy!

Stephen

 

6-year-old: Can we get a cat?

Mom: No, hon. I'm allergic to cats.

6-year-old: You could sleep outside.

 

7-year-old: Mom, what is a humanitarian?

6-year-old: I got this, Mom. It's like a vegetarian but the eat humans instead of vegetables.

 

Mom: You didn't even notice my new hair style.

10-year-old: I'm not married to you . . . not my job!

 

6-year-old: Don't do that on my head!

4-year-old: I'll fart where I want!

 

Dad: You and your brother are being annoying.

6-year-old: We're kids, that's our job.

 

Now for the one-liners:


8-year-old: (walks in room)

You have to have a backstory to explain why you are evil, right?

(walks out of room without waiting for answers)


6-year-old: Mom, you need to shave your legs. They look like wheat fields.


4-year-old: You ruined my whole life!


8-year-old: (at bedtime) See you in the morning, my tasty mango.


6-year-old: I love Hohos, they are filled with cream and hopes and dreams.


5-year-old: Mom, my nose is about to barf with weird air.


7-year-old: Do it again, Dad. I promise I won't fart on you this time.


And just in time for the holiday . . .


8-year-old to his little brother: Don't eat those! The Easter Bunny poops jelly beans!


 

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