Friday Funnies: Heat Wave ...

Hello My Happy People!

I hope you have had a great week and have something fun planned for the weekend. P.R. and I were heading out tonight for date night tonight, but after he had a less than pleasant dental appointment we are postponing for a few nights. Most Friday's we just order dinner delivered and stay in and watch movies together. Once in a while we like to get out and do something in town. We were going to dinner at a steakhouse and then seeing Thor Love and Thunder.

I know at least a few of you who know me are thinking, wait a minute, a vegetarian going to dinner at a steakhouse, that seems wrong. The thing is, my husband is not a vegetarian but he eats a lot of vegetarian meals with me. I feel it is only fair I go to a steakhouse with him once in a while so he can get the food he likes as well. Besides, surprising as it may be, steakhouses usually have fantastic vegetarian side dishes from which I can make a whole meal. I have never had to leave a steakhouse hungry because they had nothing vegetarian.

We have been going out more and more this year, but I have still not gotten back to going out all the time to run errands like I used to, walking a few miles to all the shops and carrying things back home. There are a few good reasons for this: 1. It's really hot here right now and walking in the heat is not pleasant when you do not have air conditioning to come home to. 2. I'm old and really don't like walking a few miles just to pick up laundry detergent and dog treats when I can have them shipped to the house for free. 3. Did I mention it's hot and I'm old?

Given the situation here, I thought today would be a great day for heatwave jokes!

So get ready for a good laugh (or at least a heartfelt groan) at these certified Dad Jokes.

Enjoy,

Dianne

Q: On hot summer days, what is a cat's favorite frosty treat?

A: Mice-cream cones!

Q: Why don't celebrities worry about heat waves?

A: They always stay cool because they have lots of fans.

Q: What do you call a dog in August?

A: A hot dog

Q: What do you call a dog in January?

A: A chili dog.

Q: What kind of tea can Englishmen not stand?

A: Humidity.

Q: Why was it so hot in the stadium after the soccer match?

A: Because all the fans left!

Q: Why is the corner always the hottest spot in a room?

A: Because a corner is always at 90 degrees.

Q: Which is faster, hot or cold?

A: Hot. Anyone can catch a cold.

Q: What do you call the southern part of Texas in a heat wave?

A: Corpus Crispy.

Q: How hot is it?

A: It’s so hot we used our seat belts for branding irons.

Q: How hot is it?

A: It’s so hot, Ice Cube changed his name to puddle.

Q: How hot is it?

A: It's so hot, I tried to stream the movie Frozen but it kept playing Waterworld.

Q: How hot is it?

A: It's so hot, I started using Only Fans just to cool off.

Q: How hot is it?

A: It’s so hot, today I saw birds using oven mitts to pull worms out the ground.

Q: How hot is it?

A: It’s so hot, I bought a loaf of bread but by the time I got home it was toast.

And last but not least ...

Q: How hot is it?

A: It’s so hot, I saw Optimus Prime transform into an air conditioner.

How Hot is it?

The Press-Enterprise

"Hot Weather vs. Cold Weather? Which is better?"

Jim Gaffigan Stand up (Quality Time)

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