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Friday Funnies: Happy 2023!

Updated: Jan 25, 2023


Hello My Happy People,


I'm sorry I missed the first few Friday Funnies of this year. I have been fighting a horrible lung infection and got over it enough just in time to have a heart catheter check up I had scheduled back in September. I'm feeling better but a bit beat up at the moment. They were only able to do half the exam through my wrist so they had to go in my leg too. I'm a tad bruised. From what I understand, I was having a lot of muscle spasms that were causing the problems.


The good news is my heart is in great shape. The bad news is, being in bed the past few weeks has really messed up my plans. Whenever I get a lot of grand ideas of all the things I plan to accomplish, Murphy always has to step up and say, "Nope, not happenin'!"


It doesn't stop me from continuing to try though. I want to schedule a few interviews in the coming weeks. The start of season two of Book Banter with Dianne Burckhardt starts February 1st. I hope to be able to tell you about my plans for season two soon, because if they all come through ... they are going to be amazing! Cross your fingers!


For now, I'm still worn out, moving slowly, trying not to cough, and mostly sleeping. I'm supposed to be on bed rest until Sunday so I'm going to get right to the jokes so I can go back to sleep. Chat more with you soon!


Have a wonderful weekend, people!

Dianne



Q. Why should you date a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?

A. They really know how to ring in the New Year.


Q. What did the farmer give his wife at midnight on New Year’s Eve?

A. Hogs and kisses.


Q. Do you have a date for next New Year’s Eve?

A. Of course! It's Dec. 31.


Q. What is your New Year's resolution?

A. I am resolved to read more, so I turned on the subtitles on my TV.


Q. How do an optimist and a pessimist celebrate New Year's Eve?

A. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year come in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old one leaves.


Q. What is the one group that hates New Year’s Eve?

A. The New Year’s Day cleanup crew.


Q. Why don't you make New Year's resolutions?

A. Dad always told me nobody likes a quitter.


Q. What's a New Year’s resolution?

A. Something that goes in one year and out the other.


Q. What does Jack Frost like to do on New Year’s Eve?

A. Chill out.


Q: How are New Year’s Day parades and Santa Claus alike?

A. No one is ever awake to see them.


Q. What was the digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?

A. 1080p.


Q. Where do mathematicians go to celebrate New Year’s Eve?

A. Times Square.


Q. What happened to the thief who stole a calendar on New Year’s Eve?

A. He got 12 months!


And last but not least ...


Q. Why did the man lift his left leg at midnight on New Year’s?

A. Because he wanted to start the year on the right foot.



Hashtags: #ResolutionFail





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