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Friday Funnies: Doctor Edition!

Hello Posse!

In the face of the current pandemic, I think is it important to keep our sense of humor and try to find the joy in the little things. To that end, I decided to look up some humorous doctor jokes. In 2004, when I was going through all of my brain surgeries (I've had six, if you didn't already know), I was always teasing my surgeon that with as many times as he got to shave my head, I should have at the very least gotten a lollipop out of the deal. Lord knows I probably paid for a new summer home for him. I'm kinda of mad that I still haven't gotten that lollipop!

All kidding aside, I had a fantastic neurosurgeon but when you are going through such medically serious and emotionally draining times, it's important to find something to laugh about.

So without further ado, here are the best "dad jokes" about doctors I could find.




Why did the doctor get mad? Because he lost his patients!


Where does a ship go when it gets sick? To the dock!


Doctor, Doctor! My son just swallowed a roll of film! Don't panic! Let’s just wait and see if anything develops!


Doctor, there's a patient on line one who says he's invisible.

Well, tell him he'll have to call back, I can't see him right now.


Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.

Next time, try blowing the candles out first.


Sir, I'm afraid you have a serious condition. Your DNA is backwards.



My mother used to say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Lovely woman. Useless surgeon.


Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He’s all right now.


They tried to save the patient with I.V. antibiotics.

Sadly, it was all in vein.


I tried to play hide and seek in the hospital.

I lost, they kept finding me in the ICU.


Never lie to an X-ray technician.

They can see right through you.


And last, but not least . . .

Doctor, I think I’m a bit hard of hearing.

Can you describe the symptoms?

Sure. Marge has blue hair, Homer is fat and bald, Bart is obnoxious, and Lisa is the smart one.



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