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Friday Funnies: Lost in a Daze!

Hello My Happy People,

I hope you are having a great week. Mine has been insane is good and sadly, bad ways too. I am always very cautious when I get too happy about how things are going in my life. I am one of those people who just keeps waiting for Murphy's Law to kick in at any moment.

I was having such a great ride after winning the SheInspires SHEro award last week (Wow. has it already been a week since that happened?) in Bolton, UK. Then I got to come home and interview Sonali Dev for my podcast, Book Banter with Dianne Burckhardt. Then I finally got a chance to sit down and interview a friend who is a self-published author about her first book. We had been trying to manage that for months.

Things were going so good, I thought I should even buy a lottery ticket while my luck was holding out, but I waited too long to do that. I heard from a friend's daughter today, that my best friend is in ICU in Kansas in critical condition. She is in an induced coma to give them a chance to figure out what is going on with her. If you are the praying sort, prayers would be appreciated. If you are not the praying sort, good vibes, chants, peaceful meditations, anything you care to do is also appreciated.

I am trying to focus on work at the moment until I hear more about her condition. She is forever a part of me and always will be. In keeping with our insane friendship, I knew I had to still do the Friday Funnies. We did some crazy things together growing up. We even once got kicked out of a pool hall for fighting ... each other.

The stupid part is we weren't even really fighting. She said something snarky that pissed me off and I hit a wall, not hard and nowhere near her. None of that mattered to the people running the pool hall and we still got kicked out, which also made me mad at her. The really funny part was, I was her ride!

She suggested that she should find another way home since I was mad at her and I told her absolutely not and to get her skinny behind in my car. Her parents let her leave with me and I was going to see that she got home. A third friend was with us that night and she sat between us in the front seat of the car. That was back when cars still had bench seats in the front ... yes, we're that old. Needless to say, it was an awkward drive home.

We did a lot of crazy things that I know most people would never believe she would do. I was not always a good influence on her. What would really surprise people is how many of our crazy stunts were actually HER idea. Two words: circus train. If you know .... you know.

So for my friend who always laughed with me and I expect to have many more laughs with and for all of you, here are the jokes.



Q: Do you think we will always be friends?
A: Of course, you know way too much for me to let you out of my sight!

Q: Why did the mushroom have lots of friends?
A: Because he was a fungi!

Q: How do you know someone considers you like family?
A: If you walk into their home and your WiFi automatically connects!

Q: Did you hear about the circus clown's funeral?
A: Everyone came in one car!

Q: Do you think we will live to be old friends?
A: Of course, until we become old and senile ... then we'll be new friends!

Q: What is the difference between a good friend and a best friend?
A: A good friend will buy you lunch, a best friend will eat it!

Q: What is your definition of a best friend?
A: Someone who always remembers your birthday but not your age!

Q: What is your definition of a best friend?
A: Someone who doesn't care if your house is clean, only if you have wine!

Q: What is your definition of a best friend?
A: Someone who will help you up if you fall down ... you know, after they finish laughing at your klutzy ass!

And last but not least ...

Q: Do you think I drink too much, cuss too much, and have questionable morals?
A: Yes, that's why we are friends!

The Best Of: Jim Gaffigan

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